earlier this year, i did a fun interview with some friends from north of the 49th parallel. (the interview can be seen either here or here.) (sorry, old joke.) one of the questions asked was, "what's the big idea behind the 15 ideas blog?" i answered far too honestly that there is none.

that's what i kind of liked about the blog. and what i kind of didn't like. after 400+ posts, you'd think an idea or purpose would've emerged by now, but it hasn't. the blog was sometimes funny, but not often enough. occasionally insightful, but less so than other blogs. worst of all, it was taking up just enough time to keep me from getting to other projects.

so, let's go do something else now. c'mon. it'll be fun.

- kevin

i'm pretty sure this post is illegal

i've heard from a full one-third of my readership regarding the olympics. he/she was asking why i'm not writing about the marketing of the Vancouver Games. i assure you, it has nothing to do with the whole Chicago bid thing. i like the olympics. it's just that to me, the olympic games are like family - they're easier to love if they're far away. the simple truth is, since i'm not an official sponsor, i'm not allowed to speak about it.

thank you for asking.

the only redeeming thing about yesterday's game

forget the US/Canada game. the real border battle took place in east lansing, where the Beloved Spartans of Michigan State took on the Ohio State Univ... sorry, THE Ohio State University Buckeyes, squaring off for first place in the Big Ten.

as it turned out, ohio state scored more points, which just goes to show there's more to a sporting event than the "final score." there's also the commercials, and ohio state has a rather charming one.

theirs has been airing for a couple years now. it's basically a montage of people forming O-H-I-O with their hands. ok, technically, it looks like O-U-A-O, but we know what they mean. as someone who feels a kinship with anyone who answers "go green" with a hearty "go white," i'm a sucker for a good college cheer in a non-college environment.

the commercial invites OSU alums to post their own pics on the OSU website. so far, they're at almost 4500. nice. even if their basketball team is a bit heartless.

it's how you say it

in spite of the appalling amount of coverage of tiger woods' apology on friday, i managed to miss it. but having read some of the critical praise, i assumed it at least met the heartfelt-ness requirements we the public are demanding.

since then, i've seen the announcement, and am wondering where all the praise came from. the performance was as wooden as bill paxton's acting in... well, in any movie he's appeared in. you know a performance is plastic when you can recreate it using a keyboard, as i just did:

happy restaurant week

looking at the size of the people who live in chicago, you'd think every week was Restaurant Week, but in fact, it's only official Restaurant Week this week.

as a chicagoan, i'm well-versed in how to spot a great restaurant. generally speaking, you can look for these three signs:

1) it has a name you can't pronounce
2) the word "reduction" appears at least 5 times on the menu
3) the chef or sous chef or immersion circulator once worked with grant achatz

ah, but there are exceptions to these rules. last weekend while in door county, wisconsin, someone recommended the "best restaurant in wisconsin." its name? Village Cafe. its specialty? various eggs benedict dishes. oh, it's also known for all the tsotchkes on the wall. to top it off, the word "reduction" was nowhere to be found. (of course, it was wisconsin - a state not exactly known for reducing anything.)

in spite of these odds, the village cafe was deemed the finest breakfast we've ever had - edging out that place in montreal. do you remember the name of that one? yeah, i can't either. if you're in the neighborhood of egg harbor, i'd highly recommend stopping in. even if it's not Restaurant Week.

paging christopher guest...

as technology continues to connect us all into one big happy Facebook fan page, it's good to see there's still plenty of room in the world for niche groups. to wit, here's a book i recently came across: Otherwise Normal People: Inside the Thorny World of Competitive Rose Gardening.

the title is great, but i like the slug at the top even more. in order to broaden the book's appeal, it says, "not just rose nuts, but gardeners everywhere will love this book."

the book's currently ranked #186,066 on amazon.

what hell hath i wrought?

last week, we talked about foursquare, remember? at the time, i mentioned i took umbrage to the fact that a freelancer had become the mayor of our agency. since then, things have gotten considerably worse:

another coworker has become the mayor of my office.

damn you, technology. damn you.

good intentions

the humanist in me thinks, "it's good to see a brand try to stand for something bigger than itself."

the consumer in me thinks, "1 liter buys someone else 10 liters? that's some seriously overpriced water."

a long drumroll, please

it's often said that traditional advertising is a monologue, and digital advertising is a conversation. here's fine proof that isn't always true. this sign doesn't just announce leo's is coming. (leo's is a well-known detroit-based restaurant famous for its coney dogs.) it acknowledges the conversation its audience is already having. a smart way to 1) add to an existing conversation and 2) pique interest with people who might not have heard of leo's.

the pic was taken last october. a day after holding a special opening night for facebook fans this past sunday, it finally opened on monday. apparently, the city has a strict licensing policy for coney dogs.

for the record, the wait was well over an hour.

irony in door county

i liked this sign. but when i came home and googled the church, i couldn't find its website.

thinking semi-big

it's never too early in the year to head on into a bike shop. especially if that bike shop rents tubes to go sledding. while we were waiting, i saw some cool signage from a couple bike companies.
the first was from trek. it was an announcement for a new, online customized bike option called Project One. i liked the bigness of the headline - it's not just a customized bike program. it's the end of the word "no." cool enough. so i visited the site. if, instead of wanting to build a bike, you want to go through an exercise in frustration, i'd encourage you to visit the site as well. there, you'll find confusing navigation, not too many options, and a slow moving website that encourages you to visit a bike shop where someone can help "fine tune" your choices, thereby rendering your online experience a waste of time.

but again, the poster was nice.

the other signage that caught my eye were posters and hangtags from vergesport, based in new york. again, the communications took on a bigger picture. the hangtag had facts about how much better this country would be if we rode bikes more often. for those of you who can't read hieroglyphics, the hangtag reads, "the US could save 462 million gallons of gasoline a year by increasing cycling from 1% to 1.5% of all trips." other tags talked about how much thinner we Americans would all be, and how much longer we Americans all live, if we just rode bikes more often.

all of which would be swell, except for the fact that the shirts on which the hangtags hung were made in Poland. kinda undoes the nationalistic sell of the campaign, nie?

baby it's cold outside

every february, there always comes a time when we chicagoans rub the frost from the window so we can see outside, and we think, "wouldn't it be great if we could go someplace even colder."

hence our trip up to door county wisconsin this weekend.

my favorite marketing so far is a throwback neon sign from the leinenkeugel brewery. it's good to see there are still places besides the back of nickels where an indian head is welcomed. the video doesn't properly capture the sparkling stars above the leinenkeugel constellation. it was magical.

the websites of the commercials of the super bowl

for all the attention the super bowl commercials get, it seems many of the Super Bowl sponsors are still content with letting their super bowl investment fade out after 30 seconds, as opposed to looking at it as just the beginning. to wit, a breakdown of the Websites of the Commercials of the Super Bowl™.

house of beer, asteroid, etc. - bud light
anheuser-busch is one of the biggest sponsors of the super bowl. yet, none of their commercials feature a URL. the simple reason: after its experience with bud.tv, anheuser-busch is convinced this whole internet thing is a fad. in fact, they predict that by 2012, the only person left on twitter will be ashton kutcher. the rest of us will be too busy untangling the cords of our rotary phones to ever have time to tweet.

tebow - focusonthefamily.com
the controversial tim tebow commercial ended with a prominent URL, FocusOnTheFamily.com, where visitors can find out just what the hell the ad was trying to say. the site features lots more footage about the Tebow family talking about how God asked them to raise a child who can beat the crap out of the Georgia Bulldogs. seems petty to me, but if there are two things a fellow shouldn't argue with, it's God and the SEC. and not in that order.

classical - hundai
the Hundai commercial ended with a simple hundai.com URL. upon visiting, it's clear the marketing people never told the web designers that 1) they were sponsoring a super bowl spot and perhaps there should be some mention; 2) it's 2010.

the shuffle - boost mobile
ok, so we finally have a marketer that took advantage of its super bowl investment. their tv spot featured a reunited chicago bears team re-enacting their 1985 Super Bowl Shuffle video. boost smartly grabbed the search term "super bowl commercials." and it created a microsite featuring an extended version of their tv spot, as well as the usual digital checklist: you could have a friend get a call from coach singletary; customize a jim mcmahon headband; and download wallpaper, ringtones, and ditka-shaped waffles. in fact, the only problem - and really, it's a slight one - is that the idea has nothing to do with the product. other than that little problem, nice effort.

betty white/abe vigoda - snickers
this was the commercial that won the USA Today Ad Meter poll, a measurement with all the sophistication of an 8th grade class president election. aside from being thankful that abe vigoda is indeed still alive, i was glad to see snickers also delivered a re-skin of its website featuring the commercial, as well as another spot in the campaign featuring aretha franklin and liza minnelli. (again, thankful liza's still alive. i'm confident that, hundreds of years from now, aretha franklin will still be leading a vigorous if disrespected life.)

dog collar, playing nice, funeral, flowers in a box - doritos
doritos ended all its tv spots with the URL of a site which links all its digital efforts, SnackStrongProductions.com. their past efforts feature some brilliant work (Hotel 626, Asylum 626, and Unlock Xbox among others), as well as crashthesuperbowl.com, which carries all the user-submitted commercials. not much in the way of interaction, but a single hub of digital activities makes a lot of sense for a brand with such disparate efforts.

simpsons - coke
there's no URL in an otherwise decent commercial. if you look up the site anyway, there's no acknowledgement of a super bowl, much less a commercial. surprising for a company that understands the power of a good story.

massage - go daddy
the one and only nice thing you can say about GoDaddy.com is, at least they understand how traditional media can drive digital traffic. (happy 12th birthday to that last point!) both TV spots ended with the call to action, "see more now at godaddy.com (WARNING! WEB CONTENT UNRATED)" is other web content unrated? yes. is there a less likeable spokesperson than danica patrick? no. would this spot have been much less predictable if it featured tim tebow and his mom? i think they would've just made it boringer. as for the footage that was "too hot for tv": good god. the overall formula is this: the harder you're going to make your audience work, the better the experience has to be.

musical beaver - monster.com
the tv spot featured a touching story of a fiddle-playing beaver. the URL was monster.com because "godaddy.com" was already taken. if you go on the site, the fiddle player has taken over the first page, though there's plenty of functional navigation surrounding it. but if you wait a moment or so, the beaver (and any reference to the super bowl sponsorship) is replaced by more functionality. if you click on it before it disappears, you get taken to FiddleAFriend.com. here, you can send a customized monk-e-mail to a friend.

bachelor party, your tires or your life - bridgestone
bridgestone supported its super bowl buy with a dedicated page at bridgestonetire.com/superbowl. it featured both spots. out of the 100,000,000+ people who watched the super bowl, 14 have made comments on one of the spots. i don't have a calculator here to check the ROI on that. ah, but at least they're not filtering the comments. on the splash page, however, they are filtering their twitter feed to feature only rave reviews of their commercials. so very silly.

timothy richmond - cars.com
cars.com's commercial ended (appropriately) with cars.com. the website had a wee sliver of a super bowl commercial mention at the top of their website. once clicked, you could watch the commercial again, or watch "exclusive web videos" where the star of the commercial wears out his cuteness. when you have a character-driven idea, seems like you'd maybe want to expand on that character's story. i don't know, maybe?

wear no pants - dockers
the dockers' spot ends with dockers.com/freepants. once there, a small banner asks if visitors want to see the "game day tv ad" but most of the real estate is about how dockers is giving away thousands of khakis. other headlines include "behold the second dawn of man" and "wear the pants." it seems like three ideas at work here, all of which could potentially turn into something blog-worthy, but none succeeding. one of the more confusing supporting efforts. look for yourself.


casual fridays - career builder
taking a page from from the cars.com playbook, careerbuilder.com ended their commercial with careerbuilder.com. once on the site, a visitor gets the usual careerbuilder.com site and... oh wait a minute! you know those really irritating page takeover ads that block what you're reading? well, they've installed one of those on their own site. it asks visitors to help give careerbuilder's commercial a higher ranking among super bowl spots. like Go Daddy, careerbuilder's site also features a commercial that's "too hot for tv." like Go Daddy, what careerbuilder should've said was that it's "too hot for conservative marketing committees."

shape up - skechers
skechers had a couple spots but no URL. visiting www.skechers.com, you find the standard skechers website, and an option to watch the "Big Game Commercial" in the bottom right corner.

sorry, i just dozed off. where were we?

comfortable skin - dove
part of the super bowl's Emasculated Men Series, the dove for men commercial featured a dedicated website, dovemencare.com, which mixed product information and offers with an opportunity to see their commercial. it should be noted dove also smartly had roadblocks on major web properties on monday morning - one of the smarter supporting efforts.

calling dr. love - dr. pepper
dr pepper demonstrated the fact that their current campaign (featuring pop culture doctors) is just about out of ideas. the spot featured kiss and minikiss performing dr. love. it's at least well-supported. once you head to the URL, they don't just give you the option of seeing the commercial, they just start playing it for you. the commerical then leads into the "never ending song" - a montage of user-submitted videos of people singing dr. love. if you want to play along, you have to cough up your email address - an effective but heavy-handed way to build a fan base. having recently run out of my ace frehley silver make-up, i demurred.

punxsutawney polamalu - tru tv
tru tv ended with trutv.com. on the site, the only evidence of the super bowl was banner ads for fellow super bowl sponsor, dove for men.

man's last stand - dodge
another part of the Emasculated Man Series, the manifesto of wussy men with cool cars ended with dodge.com. at the site, the focus was pure, functional commerce. a video below the fold included more manifesto for the kind of men who need quote marks around the word "men." knocks aside, their site and new logo are a significant improvement over previous efforts.

punch buggy - vw
so here's a charmer. the spot does a nice job of amplifying what people have been doing for years - playing punch buggy. and the spot ends with an invitation: play punchdub at vw.com. charming. once on the site, PunchDub has taken over the front page (though the main nav of vw models remains). the site made it easy to send a punch to a facebook friend, with customized model and punch method. (i went with the Fist of Fire. felt good.) furthering the concept even more, vw is holding a PunchDubDays sales event. smart, smart stuff.

various chicken commercials - denny's
denny's didn't put their URL at the end of the commercials, but i have a guy who knows everyone's URL and he told it to me. denny's commercials were focused on giving away free breakfast on tuesday. as for the site? it had some decent tie-ins including selling chicken t-shirts (that's t-shirts with chickens on them, not actual shirts that chickens wear), and encouraging visitors to become a denny's fan on Facebook to check out future videos of the chickens. a smart way to keep folks engaged beyond a single website visit.

the griswolds - home away.com
it was like 1998 all over again, with advertising on the super bowl that featured dot coms i'd never heard of. homeaway.com's commercial featured the Griswolds from the Vacation movie series. (so it was like 1983 all over again too.) the spot ended with a tease, "see the film at homeaway.com." the site had plenty of features, videos, and good integration of homeaway.com's services. i clicked on the "film." it began with a schpiel about homeaway.com. i asked for a film, not an ad. someone, please tell me if the film was worth watching. TIA.

sumo wrestler - kgb
there was no site given for kgb, though they were smart enough to realize the name "kgb" won't be treated well by search engines, so they bought key words. good for them. once a site was located, there was a subtle nod to their super bowl sponsorship, and a video was well down the fold. something tells me they're not going to be in the Big Game next year.

wolf style - etrade
etrade had no URL, and there was no mention of super-anything on their site. however, the baby diversifying his portfolio "wolf style" was enough to forgive them.

snapshot of america - census
the us census ran a commercial, and encouraged people to visit 2010census.gov. i did, and saw this:

mathematically speaking, i think here's where we're at:
an encouragement to watch a game that took place days ago + forcing a marketing idea into a sentence = confusion.

search on - google
not only was there no URL at the end, there wasn't even a logo. i'm just guessing that spot was google's. of course, there was no need for google to have a tie into their website. as soon as you saw the spot's easily parody-able-ness, you knew it would have one of the more lasting digital presences of any of the super bowl spots, even without the support of google. that's knowing your audience.

partying toys - kia
kia's commercial ended with their basic kia.com website. on the site, one of the rotating visuals on the home page was from the tv spot, and you could watch the Big Game ad via a link below. but beyond the re-airing of a commercial, there was little tie-in.

internet tv - vizio
vizio's tag (vizio.com/via) also went with the re-airing of their commercial on the site. and i have to admit, after watching the commercial repeatedly on their website, i really came to like the commercial. on a related note, it's amazing how poorly a dry sense of humor translates on the internet.

human dolphins - emerald nuts
the emerald nuts commercial (the one with people acting like dolphins) didn't end with a URL, which was odd since they had a decent one - Let'sGetAcquatic.com. on the microsite, you could watch the commercial, or play a simple swimming game, or... did i mention you could watch the commercial? i meant to.

stealing squirrel - honda
this animated, highly stylized commercial must've eaten all the budget because by the time they got to the website, crosstour.honda.com, there was no money left to even mention the spot, much less bring the distinctive style to the website's design. pity. it was an interesting look.

paper or plastic - audi
the audi commercial featured no site, and there was nary a trace of the spot on their website. but the commercial did win the coveted "Best Use of Cheap Trick Award," so we'll let the lack of synergy be forgotten this time.

just one box - taco bell
the taco bell spot featured charles barkley. the website is too busy featuring ads about the fourthmeal and the drive-thru diet to bother with the silly little super bowl commercial.

removed spine, tv for the road - flo tv
flo.tv's commercial featured a will.i.am remix of the who's "my generation" song. as for their website? it had the commercial prominently featured, as well as links to press coverage of the commercial, and the opportunity to download the song while donating to haiti. for a marketer i hadn't come across, it was an impressive introduction.

our best inventions - intel
intel didn't have their URL at the end of their commercial, but they put their commercial up on the home page of their website. like too many super bowl marketers, they didn't do anything else.

all in all, it remains pretty disappointing to see so many smart marketers not take advantage of the attention their media buy has created. as chicago cub fans, michigan state football fans, and halley's comet fans say...

maybe next year.

attn: deisel store window decorator

you know what else is hot? proofreading.

bank of america fees, explained

5 men on foot shoveling, 2 trucks plowing, one extraordinarily snow-free bank parking lot.

more addictiveness

coming out of last year's sxsw interactive gathering, the launch that got the biggest buzz was foursquare - a mobile-centric game that encourages people to explore a city, keep tabs on friends, review businesses, and brag that you're the "mayor" of a particular place (i.e. the person who's checked into a place most frequently).

i checked it out last spring, got bored, and there it sat, unused, for months. recently, one of our freelancers became the mayor of the agency i work at, and suddenly, i was addicted. foursquare was no longer about checking into new places around town. it was about defeating the freelancer.

but in pursuit of this childish (and of course fun) goal, i saw how foursquare had grown up since last spring. take a look at the top right corner.


there you have the closest thing i've seen to Minority Report - offering a special nearby makes a ton of sense, and it's a seemless integration of digital and real world. but it's not just an ad for ad's sake. it continues to tie in playing foursquare, since you have to offer proof you're playing in order to receive the discount.


and now this: this morning, chicago's office of tourism announced a partnership with foursquare, and have created special chicago-only badges which encourage people to more deeply explore the city - the first city to do so.

great, it'll be even more addictive now. nevertheless, smart thinking, all.

coming soon... the websites of the commercials of the super bowl

as the super bowl commercials get dissected like a frog in biology class, let's take a look at the websites associated with the commercials, shall we?

UPDATE: yes, we shall. just hold on a day or so, will you?

cottonelle, part 2

ok, one more thing for the cottonelle folk. want to have a digital running tally so people can get immediate gratification from voting? a lovely idea indeed. but if you ask people to vote, try giving them a method to do so. oddly enough, the other bus shelter i saw had texting instructions but no scoreboard. we're kinda making this more difficult than we need to, yes?

the red cube project turns poignant

the art institute's red cube project moves on, but we haven't forgotten about the cubes that were left behind.

you will continue to be in our thoughts. always.

only 334 shopping days left

yesterday (february 4th), the tavern on rush was busy installing red holiday lights on all the trees in front of the bar. i will never complain about christmas decorations being sold before halloween again.

blue jeans, 2002-2010

other than an authentic concert t-shirt from Rush's Moving Pictures tour in 1981, is there a piece of clothing that creates a stronger personal connection than a pair of blue jeans? long after these jeans became inappropriate for client presentations, church, and Co-Dependence Anonymous meetings, they remained a staple in my limited and monochromatic wardrobe. i even grew attached to the broken zipper. sure, it was embarrassing, but it was also a great way to meet people.

yesterday, the hole in one leg became bigger than the material left, which means it was officially time to throw these out and get a new pair.

looking at jeans ads, it's interesting to see jeans marketers aren't really taking advantage of the connection people have with their products. the exception being j. peterman, which specializes in fictional but well-written connections. (really? i can buy woody guthrie's jeans?!?)

most product categories would love for their product to have the bond that jeans create. seems like a real missed opportunity, no?

p.s. pardon the blurriness of the picture. it's hard to hold a camera still when you're crying really hard.

new jersey is so much more than the shores

as today proved, it's also home to the most awesome airport gift shop gift ever. listen closely - the sound is a bit hurting.

.

testing 1... 2... 3...

if you have some time to fly right now, there's NO LINE at o'hare.

creating (or at least starting) conversation

here's a notable example of a brand dipping its toes into the social media waters. it's for cottonelle toilet paper, and it's basically a national poll about whether we all prefer to roll the toilet paper over or under. is it the most dramatic issue facing us as a society? no, that would be the future of brangelina. but it's up there.

the campaign is a nice way of finding a conversation point that 1) is relevant to the brand, but not strictly about the brand; 2) everyone can weigh in on. always a good start. it smartly takes advantage of the usual suspects (facebook, youtube, twitter, mom blogs), they bought the right search terms, and the microsite is data-rich, with a breakdown of the poll by state. (what is up with the "under" vote, california?)

if you argued the execution of it is more than a bit weak, i'm sure you'd be really convincing. but above all that, it reminded me of one of the neat exercises i learned at a hyper island master class a couple weeks ago: always ask, "and then what?"

brands keep asking for our attention and participation. well, here's an example of successfully getting it. now what are you going to do with it?

where bodies are buried in this town

usually when i'm riding through lincoln park, i'm busy popping wheelies or adjusting the baseball card in my spokes.

yesterday, i was just walking, which is why i noticed the big hunkin' stone marker in the park. the marker is part of an art project by pamela bannos called Hidden Truths. the project revolves around seeing how stories change through the years. with this project, she digs up the history of an old city cemetery in an area that's now the southern end of lincoln park. (she presents compelling evidence about thousands of bodies still buried in the park.) in addition to solving the mystery of the Couch Tomb in the park, the project offers a great history of the area. (her new york project is cool too - a study of 8th avenue at 14th street.) i'd recommend checking either out.

you know, if you're not too busy popping wheelies.

what day is it?

when it comes to checking the date, i turn to my most trusted source: the free Fifth-Third Bank calendar i received in december.

if, god forbid, something ever happens to that calendar and i'm unable to tell what time of year it is, i'm going to use the next best reliable source: the entryway of Costco.

their merchandising strategies are consistently dead-on in terms of predicting what people are looking for. the picture above was taken on january 3rd, knowing that was the week everyone was going to get in better health habits (before abandoning them following week). today, that same area was lined with TVs, which could only mean it's super bowl week.

either that, or people are really excited about the last few episodes of Ugly Betty.

posts that don't talk

this post was supposed to have sound. been messing with different ways to upload posts - one of which is to use fotobabble and give audio commentary about a picture (in this case, the cool signage ourside swedish bed store Hasten's).

alas, when you paste the embed code, the only thing that loads is the fotobabble logo. for now, to hear the commentary, you'll just have to follow the link like the other two readers.

sorry.

sponsoring something tangible

i saw this sign and immediately thought of 7-Eleven.

perhaps an explanation would help.

last year, as part of the chicago white sox' sponsorship deal with 7-Eleven, the sox changed the start time of their night games to 7:11 pm. i thought it was one of the best sponsorships i'd come across. it wasn't just a company slapping its name on a program, it was creating change in the product or event itself.

which brings us to the sign. i thought it was cool. not the "Victory Gardens Theater" part. lower.

no, not the "blue door 11:11" part. lower.

there. the sponsorship part. as with most theaters, Victory Gardens has prominent sponsors, but instead of simply slapping its name on the sign, ComEd tied its sponsorship to something tangible - that is, the lighting. an appropriate sponsorship for an electric company, i'd say.

i'd have tipped my hat, but it was cold enough just taking the picture.

all quiet on the news front

in spite of rumors about Apple having a big announcement today, it's now 9:30 pm and i haven't heard anything yet. i realize you three are counting on this blog for all the latest news about Apple, so the second i hear anything from my sources, i'll be sure to post.

the danger of speaking marketingese

i like marketing, in large part because i'm pretty sure it's the only thing i have the talent for. but even though i've been doing this for 20 years, i don't really speak the language of the industry very well. that's actually on purpose.

the language of the industry is called Marketingese, and the definition is, "a set of terms and abbreviations used by marketing practitioners for the purpose of trying to impress fellow marketing practitioners. these terms and abbreviations are identifiable by their absence of human emotion."

the more we speak marketingese, the less we speak the language of the folks we're trying to reach, and the less effective our communications are.

what's that, you ask? you'd like to see a perfect example of what i mean? gosh, i really wasn't prepared for... wait, i think i have something in my pocket here. yes, take a look at this outdoor ad i saw last week:


the ad depicts a husband and wife approaching a bed, and the headline reads, "welcome back." the ad is signed off, "sereno - the center for snoring solutions™."

yes, the ™ is actually there, as if anyone would ever steal the term "snoring solutions."

ok, maybe another marketer would steal the term. but a person? a real human being would never say they're looking for even one snoring solution, much less a whole center of them.

bitchin' ad

finally got my pictures developed from our holiday trip to northern michigan over the holidays, and i'm sure glad i did. this ad i saw in a restaurant features some of my favorite copy ever (reproduced without permission, including typos):

"In todays market place t-shirts aren't just for the couch anymore. The right shirt and image can take your business, team, or event to the next level!"

it's hard to argue with logic that doesn't make sense, i always say. now if you'll excuse me. i have to go get a quote for a t-shirt.

fun at SFO

one of the cool things about flying through san francisco is the airport's constant rotation of cultural exhibits. right now, terminal three is featuring the history of the slot machines. i'd recommend it in the likely event that your flight's delayed. you can see the full schedule of exhibits here.

hopefully, other airports will be inspired to use their own spaces better, now that they can't fill them with ads featuring tiger woods anymore.

a history of consistency

if michigan's economy doesn't rebound soon, i'm no longer blaming the auto industry. instead, i'm blaming my alma mater's athletic department.

they're the ones who have committed the egregious and highly distracting error of wanting to change the official michigan state logo. as far as marketing mistakes go, this will no doubt rank just above the introduction of New Coke.

since the logo was leaked earlier this week, it has become a focal point of discussion among Beloved Spartan alums everywhere on message boards, in the press, and of course on social media networks. (the facebook group protesting the logo has over 15,000 members). it seems to be the work of nike, a company that's never been known for its marketing.

any change to the michigan state uniform would be like adding arms to the Venus de Milo. just thinking of the football helmets alone, they haven't changed since...

well yes, there was the classic block S. gosh, we used that helmet forever.

oh yeah, before that, it was the spartan profile or, as I call it now, the Endangered Spartan. but see, we Beloved Spartans understand tradition, so our current logo is really our old logo, except the stripes are different and the green is a different shade and the green paint is sparkly.

ok, so we have a history of subtle changes. sue us. besides, the green facemask looks a lot more intimidating.

and numbers. numbers are also very intimidating. you can say the Beloved Spartans have been inconsistent in design, but we've been very consistent in being intimidating.

alright, so the Flowery Spartan wasn't particularly intimidating. but it was the early 70's. we were coming off tumultuous times on college campuses. anything we could do to foster a peaceful atmosphere should be celebrated, not mocked.

oh come now, it was our anniversary year. that doesn't count.

ah, the original spartan on the helmet. pre-Nike Spartan. pre-Flowery Spartan. pre-premiere of the movie 300. it was small, but it spoke volumes.

alright, that wasn't so much a change, really. it was a modification. not so much fluff around the edges. other than that, the Beloved Spartans have been consistent in ther helmet design.

didn't we talk about numbers being intimidating? ok then. that's why we always used numbers on our helmets.

except when we didn't. our white helmets were only used for a couple games, so again, it should not count as being inconsistent.

come now. it was our first helmet. no one had much of a design on their helmets in the 1940s.

shut up.