the 140 characters of twitter™ (part 3)

the continuation of the stories behind those 140 characters of twitter. (view the first and second installments.)

41) Sandra, 18: Sandra is all about GOOD TYMZ!!!! That right, bird! You keep tryin to get like me, but you can’t bird! You just &^#^&@ can’t – not evah!

42) Zachary, 16: Zachary wasn’t the first PS3 addict to notice error code 8022D11. But he took it hardest. If trophy synching isn’t going to work, why play?

43) Melissa, 46: Melissa opened up her third Big Mac, still humming that damn Twoallbeefpattiesspecialsaucelettucecheesepicklesonionsona- sesameseedbun song.

44) Brandon, 17: Brandon’s teen years lasted 8 months. But then he pulled the trigger. And then he tried to run away. And then the judge made him an adult.

45) Timothy, 54: Timothy walks his shitzu every morning at 7:25. And his neighbors KNOW that. So why would they let their collie out at the same time? WHY?

46) Stephanie, 28: Stephanie was uncomfortable being Joshua’s alibi. But she still had feelings for him – even after 8 years. And she believed him, sort of.

47|48) Christina/Amber, both 40: Conjoined since birth, Christina and Amber nevertheless lead separate lives. Christina loves riding horses, while Amber’s passion is soccer.

49) Austin, 9: Austin’s classmates didn’t want to see his Captain Underpants books. Fine with him. He didn’t want to show those stupid people anyway.

50) Janet, 52: Janet sometimes wonders what happened to the baby. Could she have raised it herself? Why didn’t Aunt Flo offer to help? Dammit. Goddammit.

51) Kenneth, 70: Fellow zoo visitors often get bored by Kenneth’s description of the bay-breasted warbler, but what’s a retired ornithologist to discuss?

52) Danielle, 18: Danielle attends mass each Saturday at 5:30, picks up a missalette to prove she was there, then deals E out by the tree in the parking lot.

53) Jim, 49: Jim hated running into people who watch him on TV. Yes, he was wrong about another weather forecast. Did they REALLY need to remind him?

54) Ingrid, 24: JAG tänker du er, hur vill du si inne, mycket skarp eller god sett? Mig namn er Ingrid. Kunde du utställning jag runt omkring staden behaga?

55) Doris, 74: Doris doesn’t want to bother anyone just because she needs a ride to the doctor’s this Thursday at 11. No, you’ve got better things to do.

56) Winthrop, 88: Winthrop listened absently as the board members continued their recommendation for him to step down as CEO. Who’d take over, Junior? Hah!

57) Winthrop Jr, 59: Junior watched as the board’s advice fell upon deaf ears. How could his father go from innovator to stubborn old coot in a decade’s time?

58) Winthrop III, 31: The phone rang and rang in the Third’s Miami beachhouse, but he’d passed out in the guestroom bathtub again, and couldn’t possibly hear it.

59) Winthrop IV, 4: Win’s nanny gently washed his hair and tried to change the subject. “I don’t know where daddy is,” she said. “Hey, I think Dora is on now.”

60) Nas-T D (not her real name), 26: Nas-T D’s on the list tonight at the Viper Room and Casper’s probably working the door. But family is in town, so she’s at Dave & Buster’s.

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