the 140 characters of twitter™

if we're all going to continue twittering away our days, i think it's important we know more about exactly who these 140 characters are.

now, for the first time ever, twitterable information about each of the 140 characters of twitter - the first in a 7-part series. (thanks to geoff for the hauntingly accurate artistic renderings.)

1) Joseph, 92 (pictured): Joseph resented the birthday cake with just one candle. He’d heard the “fire hazard” joke for the last 27 years, but never once laughed.

2) Kathleen, 53: Kathleen could’ve just kept being called “Kathy” but would she have still become the fourth youngest regional VP of HR? Highly unlikely.

3) John, 54: John doesn’t mind the wait at the Outback Steakhouse. He gets to putter around the mall a bit. Hey, it’s Friday night – what’s the rush?

4) Claire, 29: Claire collects gas masks and hangs them on her apartment wall like trophies from a hunt, just to assure no man will ever get too close.

5) Logan, 4 months: Logan is getting to be such a big boy, isn’t he? Isn’t he? Yes he is. Oh yes he is. He’s getting to be so big. Sooooo big. Sooooo big.

6) Rishi, 36: Rashi wasn’t a natural club promoter. He didn’t like partying, music, people. But his dad’s friends kept hiring him, so he kept showing up.

7) Rebecca, 33: Rebecca’s closet overflows with bridesmaid dresses. And her last two friends get married this summer. Still, she’s totally fine with that.

8) James, 34: James will go to the weddings with Rebecca this summer, just like the last 2 summers. But he won’t ever love her. Doesn’t she know by now?

9) Brittany, 21: adctd2txt? wdymbt? OMG Brit iznt adctd2txt. jst avg grl, any1 cn c, k? TTYL

10) Stefan, 45: Stefan listened to the thunder roar across the sky and sighed, knowing he wouldn’t be giving away very many balloon animals or hats today.

11) Kayla, 22: Kayla and Jim have been dating for 2 months. Well, 2 months and 13 days. When was he going to change his Facebook status? Should she first?

12) Michael, 64: A decorated war veteran who reached the rank of colonel, Michael suffered from a false accusation of committing murder in the conservatory.

13) Terrence, 50: Terrence wanted to ref a fair game so he’d hoped the game wouldn’t come down to the last second. But it did, and he had an “agreement.”

14) Celestyn, 45: Celestyn’s favorite house to clean is the pharmacist’s. She’s been cleaning it for 12 years and not once has he noticed anything missing.

15) Dylan, 24: Dylan yawns and glances casually at the clock. In 37 years, 4 months, 3 days, 2 hours, and 11 minutes, he will be eligible for retirement.

16) Tammy, 36: Tammy is really happy, what with the kids and all. She’d like to work or get involved with things, but who has the time, what with the kids.

17) Brenda, 40: Brenda screamed at the top of her lungs when Angus finally removed his shirt. She had been wrong – the death of Bon Scott was NOT the end.

18) Harold, 83: Harold wouldn’t mind paying a little extra in taxes if it made that gosh darn railroad crossing signal a little shorter. Heavens to betsy.

19) Rachel, 9: Rachel’s mom told her to put the box of cereal back, but instead, she left it in the toothpaste aisle. The guilt would haunt her for years.

20) Alake, 19: Alake heard the neck of his Ka-Kaung bride was 12 inches long, but when he met her, it was a mere 10 inches so he declined to marry her.

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Mike said...

Not sure I could love this idea more than I do. But, I'm gonna try. When's the next installment? When's the book come out?

Also, have you created a twitter account for this? A new character/tweet a day, perhaps? Sounds like something I'd like to subscribe to.

15 ideas said...

i'm currently accepting proposals to make the book. and by "accepting proposals" i mean "begging for help." if you're seriously interested, let me know.

as for twitter, my tweets are dedicated to the relentless search for my missing glove. http://www.twitter.com/kl8989