"damn mother's day"

those aren't my words. they're the words of the founder of mother's day, anna jarvis.

while mother's day is often lumped into the list of perceived "hallmark holidays" (personally, i was convinced it was the handiwork of the mimosa industry), it's worth noting mother's day began with good intentions in 1908. by sheer coincidence, the hallmark company was born 2 short years later. not by sheer coincidence, anna jarvis soon regretted ever starting the holiday due to its commercialization. she called greeting cards "a poor excuse for the letter you are too lazy to write." within 15 years of founding mother's day, anna was arrested for protesting its existence.

it's interesting to note many manufactured holidays haven't had as much success as holidays born out of good intention. the candy manufacturers invented Sweetest Day which, after 80 years, probably should've caught on by now. a guy from Young & Rubicam invented Secretary's Day, which later became Administrative Professional Day and is now often called Outsourced Call Center Worker Day. no one can remember who came up with Grandparents Day. SFX: rim shot.

knowing the story of anna javis and mother's day made the lukewarm hash brown potatoes i had at brunch this morning taste a lot less metallic.

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