5/27/09

my next job

i was talking to someone at a party this last weekend whose job is to go around the country and inspect fire engines. much as i like marketing, i thought inspecting fire engines sounded like an even better job than the one i kind of currently have. as it turns out, that was just the first of a flurry of:

Jobs I Wish I Had (not in order)
1) Wrecking Ball Operatori'm firmly convinced that if someone put together a video of buildings imploding, it would be more popular than girls gone wild. but here's the thing: if your job is to rig a building to implode, you have a deceptively passive job. the real fun part (a.k.a. the destruction) happens when you hit a button from a block or two away.

by comparison, a wrecking ball operator's job looks Neanderthalish. but you're right in the action. each swing creates a cascade of concrete and asbestos. and if you didn't think your last swing of the ball created enough distruction, next time you can bring the ball even higher. i'm getting goosepimples just thinking about it.

(*sorry if the picture looks a little dull, but a wrecking ball operator's job is so awesome, it cannot technically be captured on film.)


2) Remote Control Helicopter Operatori saw this guy over the weekend as he practiced takeoffs and landings with a gigantic remote control helicopter, right in the middle of State Street. i'm not sure exactly what the purpose was. (it looked like the helicopter was camera-ready.) but that's the thing about people who have awesome jobs - they don't have to explain themselves.


3) Forklift Operatoralso over the weekend, i was at home depot and my aisle was blocked by a guy moving things with a forklift. he was trying to get a palette of products onto the second shelf, but as you can see in the photo, he raised his forklift far higher than just the second shelf. he raised it as high as it could possibly go - maybe a hundred feet at least - and the rest of us just had to stand there in awe of his power.


4) Ship Scuttlertoday, they're sinking the Gen. Hoyt S. Vandenberg off the coast of florida to create the world's second largest man-made reef. one of the project managers said, "Don't go to the bathroom. Don't go get a beer. It should be under three minutes for the ship to fully deploy onto the bottom." that's the quote of a man who knows he has an awesome job.

(* a careful reader may wonder why the job of ship scuttler would rank ahead of the building implosions guy as they're essentially the same thing. however, if we've learned anything from titanic, it's that things falling to the bottom of the ocean are inherently cooler than things falling to the ground.)