i've completely lost track of how many of these we've done. but here's the latest: another marketing breakdown from this week's opponent of the Beloved Spartans:
Michigan State at Minnesota
Opponent's Marketing Overview:
- while the university of iowa owns the official positioning of "nice," the university of minnesota is also extraordinarily friendly. minnesotans would argue they're nicer, but that just wouldn't be very pleasant of them now, would it? you betcha no.
- tonight marks the Beloved Spartans' first visit to minnesota's gleaming new stadium, TCF Bank Stadium. knowing how banks typically behave, by this time next year, the stadium will have merged with another bank's stadium to create the largest stadium in the united states.
- its official colors are Kind Of Red and Sort Of Yellow.
- much of minnesota's on-field success can be found in the 1940s. like the Beloved Spartans, whose on-field success was in the 1950s and 1960s, this long-gone era has created unrealistic expectations about today's team. so disillusioned are both side, in fact, tonight's game should be referred to as the David Copperfield Bowl.
- minnesota is the only school in the mathematically challenged Big Ten to be located in a major city, so marketing-wise, it has the toughest competition in the conference. (yes, THE ohio state university is located in the lovely city of columbus, but because columbus only has professional hockey and soccer teams, it does not technically qualify as a major city.)
- to help overcome its competitive challenge, the university of minnesota created what is still widely referred to as the pinnacle of product placement: its mascot played a key role in the highly quotable movie, Caddyshack. the mascot also got to dance to kenny loggins, a feat not likely to be equaled anytime soon.
prediction: the Beloved Spartans need this game badly. which is to say, they'll likely lose, even if minnesota manages to be flagged for, say, 17 penalties. greasy grimy gophers by 8.